Silent No's and the like

So, I just got done reading a bunch of responses to a friends' LJ, regarding a blanket invitation she made. Several of the comments she received were something to the extent of 'if someone doesn't respond, at all, that means NO.' So here's my question, due to the overwhelming *lack* of response we've gotten to our Halloween Party invitation, should we just cancel the dang thing & save ourselves the hassle?

CJ PLEASE READ

Hun, I like reading what you have to say, especially now watching you re-invent yourself. However.....your posts are taking up most of my screen, and they keep bumping everything else off of my friends page, and I end up missing stuff from other people. *this* might be useful for you. http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=75

I think more than my girlfriend should see this

The quoted material is something she wrote in reply to the lyrics I posted. "I feel that way now, writing this. I feel like the people in my life end up listening to my whining way too much. Its like the lyrics you posted...why don't I just save myself and shut the fuck up." That's not what I was trying to say at all. In my opinion, the lyrics are more about telling someone to *stop* looking for a lover/friend/whatever who is going to be a knight in shining armor and make all their bad things go away.....and in turn, to also not be that knight for someone else. Friends & lovers can go a long ways toward lessening the pain, and making things better, but they can't do *everything*. There has to be a point where the person takes their life into their own hands and plays an active part in fixing whatever is wrong. For me, the long & the short of it....if *I* -need- a lover/friend to feel "complete", "happy", ect....then I'm never going to find what I'm looking for. Those feelings are only going to come from within. You are not unworthy. Your thoughts & feelings are not unworthy. However, no one can make you believe that. You have to discover the validity of those facts on your own.

Fitting Sometimes

Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself I know your life is empty And you hate to face this world alone So you're searching for an angel Someone who can make you whole I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself I know that you've been damaged Your soul has suffered such abuse But I am not your savior I am just as fucked as you I am just as fucked as you I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me My life has been a nightmare My soul is fractured to the bone And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone I think I'd rather be alone You can not save me You can't even save yourself I can not save you I can't even save myself Save yourself So just save yourself

This bears repeating

This is something I've had in all of my personal ads, and it is something that is really important to me. Communication, communication, communication. Talking honestly and openly about our thoughts, feelings, dreams, likes, dislikes, our successes, and our problems and ourselves is extremely vital to me. It's really simple. While I am highly empathic, it only works when I am around people. I can't sense things from a distance. To put it in a more understandable way, I'm not a mind reader....not often anyways. The people that I'm emotionally close to, I can't see as often as I like. So for me, the best way to maintain that closeness to to chat, talk, IM, email ect. on a regular basis. If someone is really busy & doesn't have the time for all the chatting, that's fine, I can totally understand that. A heads up is always appreciated. If someone is feeling blue, upset, angry, lonely or whatever.....I won't know until you mention it, and I can't do anything unless I know. If people don't keep in contact with me, it's rare that I will keep trying to contact them. I know when I'm not wanted. I always figure that when they've got nothing else going on, I might pop up on their radar screen again. Or not. I've been trying real hard to *not* be chasing after people & forcing my attention on those that don't want it, or can't reciprocate for whatever reasons. It's *hard* for me, knowing that I'm not interesting to someone....it's a real battering to my self-esteem....which isn't that great in the 1st place. For me to keep waiting around, checking in, making contact....only to never connect with the person, or to be brushed off....that just plain hurts. Friendships & relationships are 2-way streets, hopefully with both people meeting in the middle and doing equal shares of giving & taking. If I feel like I'm spending more time meeting someone on their side of the street, and if I feel like I'm the one giving more than taking......then I tend to be upset, hurt, and usually I'll withdraw. Selfish as it is....I gotta put me 1st. My ego can only take so much bruising before I wash my hands of it and walk away.

QUIZZES

I am 45% Goth

Goth ny night, normal by day. Deep in my heart I know I am evil, but not on the company's time. I do need to eat.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com I am 58% Evil Genius

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com Wow. Satan envys your style of crime. Your ideal
vaction is to go to an island full of people
and torture them one by one. You love to watch
your victims writhe in pain. Have fun. (just
hope the cops dont catch you.

What Type of Evil are You?
brought to you by Quizilla PERFORMER (Dominant Extrovert Abstract Feeler ) Valia Derekin Like just 6% of the population you are a PERFORMER (DEAF)--personable, self-assured, and excellent under pressure. You are extroverted and strong-willed, which, in combination means you are good with people and aren't willing to let opportunity pass you by. Congratulations. I'm sure all the peons you've stepped on never saw it coming and didn't feel a thing. You like being naked. Anyhow, you have formidable creative talents, and you often following what your heart tells you instead of your logical mind. Your exuberance can earn you many friends and admirers, despite your ambition, or it can intimidate the less confident into keeping their distance. It's also possible you're Madonna. "I'm afraid we have some bad news. Please, you might want to stay seated." Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on: May 14, 2035 at the age of 64 years old. On that date you will most likely die from: Cancer (39%) Alcoholism (16%) Third Degree Burns (7%) Homicide (6%) Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation (5%) Drowning (5%) According to the Gay Test... You are 64% GAY! The typical lesbian is only 45% gay!

Personal Insight

http://www.colorquiz.com/ Your Existing Situation Acts in an orderly, methodical, and self-contained manner. Needs the sympathetic understanding of someone who will give her recognition and approval. Your Stress Sources The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the rank and file. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others. Your Restrained Characteristics Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence. Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation. Your Desired Objective Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a situation of idealized harmony. Has an imperative need for tenderness and affection. Susceptible to anything esthetic. Your Actual Problem Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality. Your Actual Problem #2 Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.