I'm 33

and I'm finally learning how to draw a line in the sand and stick to it. Even though I try to deny it....I'm a nice person. Sometimes, too nice. I don't like hurting people, unless it's either someone I genuinely dislike, or someone who has hurt me first. I've spent most of my life 'being there' for people.....listening to them when they needed to vent or cry, offering advice and/or sympathy when it was needed/asked. Many times, I've done this to the detriment of my own emotional/mental well-being. I've kept people in my life, who I didn't *want* in my life.....because I didn't want to hurt them.....and somewhat more importantly, I didn't want them hurting *me* for retribution/revenge. About 2.5 years ago, I made a vow to myself to start removing people from my life who were doing me more harm than good. The people who *always* expected me to be there for them, but were *never* there for me. The people who put a price on friendship, but weren't willing to offer up anything worthwhile on their own side. S-l-o-w-l-y I've been doing this. 1 person I completely stopped talking to for over a year. Since my resolution, I've seen her 2 times and talked to her maybe a handful....every time I've made a point to keep it light & impersonal. 1 person gave me an ultimatim, her friendship -v- my lover. Those of you who have seen my *1* locked post know how that one went. I have not seen nor spoke to her since December, and I intend to keep it that way. My latest removal......an ex-girlfriend from 14 years ago. (yes MK, the one we talked about). Since getting married, I've seen my ex a handful of times, mostly at conventions. Every time, I've tried to avoid her as much as possible, and have gone so far as to have my wonderful female friends take on the role of being my 'lover' so that my ex won't get any ideas about me. I ran into her most recently at PantheaCon.....and it was a very uncomfortable time for me, but it also brought things to a point in my head. Since subtlety was't working....it was time to make the *end* of our 'friendship' very obvious. She wrote me several rambling emails explaining her thought processes & behaviours over the years, with regards to me....and asking for a chance to be my friend again and asking me to definatively tell her whether there was a place for her in my life. So.....I told her.....that I had effectively written her *out* of my life 10 years ago (when she was trying to dictate my marital sex life to me....long story)....and that I had no interest in maintaining close ties with her. I said I didn't mind talking to her on occassion, but that was *all* I was interested in from here on out.