Confusion

If I'm the one in charge....why am *I* the one sitting here alone, night after night....waiting for you to get home and talk to me?

Resistance Is Futile

I am BLOG, you have been assimilated.

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When Reality Bites You in the Ass

It's not easy being me, and it's definitely not easy being close to me or a part of my life. Of course, I have not pretended that it was. During the last 10 years, honesty and full disclosure have been words that I not only know the meaning of...but that I try to live by, especially in the case of my love-life. If someone begins to get close to me....they find out quickly that there are limitations to what I can give, be, and do. I have priorities in my life, and it would take a rather earth-shattering event for me to change those priorities. Keeping myself reasonably sane & content is my highest priority.....essentially taking care of myself....putting myself 1st. I spent too many years trying to be too many things, for too many people, and never being enough of anything for anyone, especially myself. Right close on the heels of that priority is my husband. Outside of myself, he is the single most important person in my life. He gets the lion share of my love, dedication, adoration, and attention. I know it's not easy for him....being married to me, but he knew what he was getting into for a full 2 years before he asked me to marry to him. It's rare for me to develop an interest in someone, without talking to him about it first, and finding out how comfortable he is with the whole situation. He is my rock.....he has been for the last 10 years, and I hope that he will continue to be for the next several decades. Next major commitment.....my job. It's not my career, it's not what I want to do with my professional life forever, but it is something I have made a commitment to. Since I'm a rather material person who is rather addicted to acquiring the things that $$$ can buy....flaking out on my job would not be a wise thing to do. Those who can't understand my 9-5 life (actually 6-6 including prep & travel time), will have difficulties accommodating scheduling. I don't like to go out for late nights during the week, I rarely use my work email for personal purposes, and I rarely get personal calls at work.....to be honest, unless it's an emergency of sorts...getting calls at work tends to annoy me. I have a strong work ethic and sense of dedication, even to something that is just a job to me. And since I *do* like having $$$, I tend to let few things get in the way of that. Another personal commitment.....my best friend & slave of over 6 years. She is another person who spent a great deal of time getting to know me and seeing what I was about *before* she decided that she loved me and agreed to make a major commitment to me. One of the great things about our relationship....we have similar views on polyamory, and similar tastes in women. We also understand the value of open & honest communication. We both know if either of us feels jealous, left-out, or just at odds with something (usually me more then her)....that we can just say so to the other and work it out....before it gets to be a big heart-rending problem. Maybe that's what I need to do with future relationships.....spend TIME getting to know them, and having them getting to know me.....making sure they *really* grasp what it means to be a part of my life.....making sure it's *very* evident that my life can be complicated. I also need to make sure that if someone wants to get involved with me....they realize that being involved with me does *not* mean that I'll suddenly change and discover the meaning of monogamy. Maybe it's cruel and thoughtless....but just because I do chose to love someone and make a place for them in my life does *not* mean that I'm going to change how I treat people & interact with them. I have a lot of people in my life.....some that I'm close to, some that I'm acquaintances of....but most of who I treat in an affectionate manner. I like hugging & kissing my friends.....and doing a hell of a lot more then that with people who I feel a closer connection & attraction to. If someone is going to love me, and wants to be a part of my life....all of the above are things that they must understand and learn to deal with. I do not have time in my life for drama. I don't purposely want to hurt people's feelings....but I'm not going to change who & what I am to spare other people's sensibilities. There will only be *1* person who I would consider changing for.....and that is my husband.....and even then it would have to be a damn good reason (I.E. pending divorce) to make me change such an integral part of who I am.

Is this better Kiri?

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	51.7% Explored the pleasures of the flesh	57.9%
Shamelessness	54.8% It takes a couple of drinks	74.3%
Sex Drive	42.1% I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'!	72%
Straightness	3.6% Knows the other body type like a map	36.8%
Gayness	19.6% Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame	74.9%
Fucking Sick	61.1% Dipped into depravity	85.1%
You are 39.64% pure Average Score: 66.3%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

The other one was taken last night. This morning, I took it again and noticed a thing or 2 that I missed. I got killed on the Fucking Sick section tho....aside from BDSM, lesbianism, 3somes & the like....I haven't been quite *that* adventerous....plus, some of that stuff.....I prefer to keep most of my bodily fluids & processes to myself.

What We Already Knew

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	53.3% Explored the pleasures of the flesh	59%
Shamelessness	54.8% It takes a couple of drinks	74.9%
Sex Drive	47.4% I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'!	73.4%
Straightness	5.4% Knows the other body type like a map	38%
Gayness	21.4% Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame	76.6%
Fucking Sick	66.4% Dipped into depravity	85.9%
You are 42.46% pure Average Score: 67.2%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

How Wonderfully Appropriate

I am the number 666 I am evil _

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

Fitting Comparison

You are Elizabeth Bathory. (The bloodcountess)
Legend tells us that you, this very rich,
beautiful and high born woman tortured and
murdered some 650 young women and bathed in
their warm blood to keep yourself beautiful. In some stories, it is said you have drank thier
blood as well. You were a sexual sadist on a
grand scale. Ah vanity is your downfall. For shame!

Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla I *do* 'torture' women.....often. :) I'm most definately a sexual sadist....I'm sure a few people here can testify to that. Rich....working on it.....beautiful....I'll let someone else be the judge of that. Blood drinker.....well.....um.....ew!....but I *do* enjoy nibbling on necks and leaving my mark. :)