Married Women Who Love Women

I found this site, http://www.mwwlw.net/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi via a conversation on tribe.net. From what I can tell, it seems to be more of a support group than a 'hook-up' thing, but I only spent 1/2 hour reading, so I might not have gotten the full flavor of the site. Anyways.....I posted a rather lengthy intro there...and decided it would make a good LJ post too. This site was the topic of conversation on a group I'm in on tribe.net, so I figured I'd give it a look-see & see if I might fit in somewhere. I've been married for about 10.5 years....happily for the most part. We have our ups & downs, as all relationships do. I've been actively involved with women since I was 18, but having intense emotional feelings for them since I was 7 (I'm 34.5 now). I grew up not being exposed to a lot of things involving human sexuality....so it wasn't until I was a teenager that I fully even understood what gay, lesbian & bisexual meant....let alone that I was in the group somewhere. I met my husband when I was 21, while in college. From the get-go, he thought I was gay....as when we first met, I was chasing around a girl I had a severe crush on. It wasn't until a few month later, when I was breaking up with my boyfriend, that my husband figured out I was at least somewhat interested in guys.....but it was about 2 years after that before he could catch me single.... During that 2 years, we were in several classes together & spent time getting to know each other....and he got to find out all my 'oddities.' Besides being bi, I was/am also polyamourous, pagan & into BDSM. He proposed to me about a month after we started dating. We talked a very long time about my life & the things that would or would not be different if we got married. I let him know in very clear terms that I was not willing to give up my love for women, or my being into alternative worship & sexual practices....but that I would be willing to compromise with certain things. My compromises are fairly simple & not at all difficult for me. #1 is that no other person gets more than 1/2 of my free time....my husband is #1 in my life as far as relationships go. #2 is that I do not get emotionally or sexually involved with males. #1 just makes sense to me, and #2 is no real hardship, since by that time my interest in males had begun to wane anyways. I always tell people that I am heterosexually monogamous. During the last 10.5 years, I've had relationships with 5 women. In addition, I have had a deep emotional connection (but physically platonic) with a woman who has been submissive to me for the last 8.5 years. Due to some bad experiences I've had with a few males over the last 15 years....my general interest in the species as a whole has been nearly nil. I have a few male friends that I talk to & flirt with....but by & large I just don't trust guys & generally try to put up a good enough front that most just don't even approach me. About 5 years ago, things got real bad for me, due to some harassment I was a target of...and for about 6 months I was debating whether or not I should even be married.....but I decided to try therapy first instead of heading to a divorce attorney. I just had a generalized hatred of males....and I was taking it out on my husband....who had never done anything to deserve my bad treatment of him. He has always been my rock....my solace & my coming home. I can't imagine my life without him. I sometimes think that our marriage is wrong for him....that he'd be better off with a woman who was at least somewhat more normal than I am....but he's always maintained that this is where he wants to be. I can say without a shadow of a doubt though....that if for some reason we do decide to part ways....he will be the last male I will ever be emotional or physically involved with.