Strangely......Accruate

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest: You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth. At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

So you think you don't match up? (Wench)

You question how I can be happy with 'just you', when in your POV, you don't fit what I'm looking for....well let me address that point by point. MY PERSONAL AD My #1 requirement - If at the end of the day, you can NOT remove your dick & put it into the drawer beside your bed....I do NOT want to hear from you. Well, you are a woman....so that takes care of that. NOTE OF HONESTY - I am technically bisexual, but outside of my husband, I have no interest in males. I list myself as gay, so that I won't show up as a match for males. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED....I'm not lying about, or hiding the fact that I am married. You don't seem to have a problem being involved with married women, since you have some level involvement with 3 that I know of. Do you crave the thud of a flogger, the sting of a cane or single tail, the smack of a paddle or bare hand? When your nipples are cruelly pinched & your breasts are grabbed hard enough to bruise, do you find yourself on the edge of an orgasm? Do you get all fluttery inside seeing a bunch of S/M toys and start to imagine all the ways they could be used on you? You certainly seem to like my thuddier toys, and judging by the 'Oh God....you succubus' comment when I was pinching your nipples that night....I'd say you fit this area fairly well. To make it clear, I am a sadistic top first & foremost. If you exist to serve someone and follow their every order….I may not be the person for you. While obedience IS important to me, I really want a partner who is a masochist first & foremost. Someone who takes the pain because THEY want it….not just because I want them to. Someone who ENJOYS all forms of sensation….thuddy, stingy, burning, tickling, soft caresses, hard bites….and whatever else comes into my devious little head. While I know you enjoy service, I also know that you also enjoy sensation....especially those hard bites. While you may not self describe as a masochist, you have enough of that quality to make the sadist in me happy....and given enough time, I may learn to enjoy service enough to make that part of you happy. Who you are - FEMALE (bio or Post Op TS), masochistic is preferred, and obedience is a PLUS. Total submission isn't required, but I must be honest & say that I don't play well with women who are SAM's or bratty most of the time. Once in a while is quite fun, but daily doses tend to wear me out & fray my temper. You self describe as a brat....and while agree with that assessment, for some reason your brand of brattiness doesn't push my buttons. Besides, offering up instructions on how to tame you made things much easier on me....most brats don't volunteer their off switches. I prefer intelligent, stable, mature women. Someone who's got their sh*t together, so to speak. Someone with a satisfying life OUTSIDE of the bedroom & BDSM arena, someone who would be just as happy watching TV with me, as they would be tied up & flogged by me. I see all of this encompassed in your personality & being. I enjoy being with you. I enjoy YOU period. Yeah, the sex is incredible...but that isn't even the biggest reason I want to be with you. You're intelligent, vibrant, talented, vulnerable, honest, articulate, and just plain fun to be with. You engage me intellectually and emotionally, as well as physically. Now do you believe me when I say (honestly) that you are enough. Yeah, I might engage in some casual BDSM play with others.....but I'm not going to be out & out seeking it....and as far as sex goes.....I've got that from Rik & from you....anymore might kill me. :)

Talking about Love

Love has been on my mind a lot lately. When to say it, how to show it, how to know if it's even what you are truly feeling. I have a tendency to 'fall' fast. I generally tend to feel some pretty intense emotions within the first few months, if I'm going to feel them at all. However, for the most part, I don't go declaring my feelings unless I've either heard the words first, or at least have a strong belief that my saying the words isn't going to send them running or make them feel uncomfortable. My biggest exceptions for saying 'I love you' later, rather than sooner have been 3 people. My husband - We were friends for 2 years, and we grew very close the 2-3 months before we 'officially' started dating (it took so dang long because I was involved with someone else for the whole time I knew Rik)....hell, if you want to get technical about it, I moved into his parents' house before he & I were actually in in a relationship. I'm not 100% sure about the sequence of events (I know I moved in July 4th weekend 1993), but I seem to remember writing him a letter declaring my feelings before I moved in with him.....and he proposed to me about a month after I moved in....and we got married about a year later. Sherry - I was her 1st serious girlfriend (we were in our mid-20's). I decided that I was going to let her dictate the pace of our relationship, since I didn't want her to feel pressured or to scare her off. I think she finally said 'I love you' maybe about 6-9 months into our 2 year relationship. Vicki - Honestly I can't remember when I first said it. I don't think it was any earlier than a full year into our relationship....and even though I called her 'mine' for months, it was on our 3rd anniversary that I collared her. Other than them...I tend to say "I love you" before 3 months is up....if it's what I believe that I feel. Looking back on my relationship history...and how I felt about people after things ended....I sometimes wonder if I really did love them, because once we split up, my feelings faded pretty damn fast. Never to hatred, but definitely to indifference & sometimes wondering what I really saw in the person to make me think it was 'love.' Besides saying 'I love you', I also believe in showing it. I know sometimes, I don't do all that I could....but I do make an effort. During my ruminations over the last few weeks, one of the things that has occurred to me, is that I think I would rather be shown that a person deeply cares for me and not be told the 3 little words....than be told, and treated like crap. I'm not really looking for special treatment. Mostly just respect & decency. Show me that I matter to you....that I'm not just a charm on the bracelet of people that you are collecting. I don't think I need to be the most important thing to my loved ones (whether they be platonic friends or sexual lovers)....but I like to know that I am of some level of importance. Part of the reason I don't do one-night-stands anymore is because I need to know that you think there's more to me than just someone to fuck when you've got nothing or no one better to do. I was on MSN yesterday, in the 'Dating & Relating' section, and 1 of the articles was about moving too fast in relationship....and the quote below really struck a cord in me. Wait to say "I love you" (even if you think you do) - by Ann Harris When you're in a relationship that feels so right, it can be tempting to utter those three little worlds on the early side. Harris advises against it: "The first time you feel like saying it, count to ten, go home and say it to your cat," she says. After all, your feelings could be due to the fact that you two just shared a really romantic evening together or (let's be honest) had incredible sex. There's also the risk that the feelings might not be mutual yet. So before you take this step, ask yourself: Will you be able to accept if your date doesn't say "I love you" back, or will you be crushed? If it's the latter, then it's probably best to hold off until more time has passed and you're more confident about each other's intentions. If, on the other hand, you're on the receiving end of an early "I love you," don't feel obliged to say it back if you're not feeling it yet. But that doesn't mean you should ignore the overture or, worse yet, give them a lecture about how they couldn't possibly feel that way so soon. "This person has just made him or herself really vulnerable, so you want to be careful," says Harris. Try, "I'm so touched you just said that, and I feel strongly for you. It's hard for me to use that word right now but feel like I may be getting there, too." Who knows, maybe you will sooner than you think. The part I highlighted at the end was what I liked best. It's been rare that someone has told me that they loved me, and I didn't love them back....and I think most people will agree that it can be a rather awkward situation. I really like the above as a possible thing to say in return, if it is the truth.

A buncha Questions

The Rules: 1. You can only say YES or NO! 2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks The Questions... Taken a picture naked? Yes Made out with a member of the same sex? Yes Danced in front of your mirror? Yes Told a lie? Yes Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yes Been in a fist fight? Yes Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes Been arrested? No Left your house without telling your parents? No Ditched school to do something more fun? Yes Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes Seen someone die? No Kissed a picture? Yes Slept in until 3? No Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes Played dress up? Yes Fallen asleep at work/school? No Felt an earthquake? Yes Touched a snake? Yes Ran a red light? No Had detention? Yes Been in a car accident? Yes Pole danced? No Been lost? Yes Sang karaoke? Yes Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? No Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes Kissed in the rain? Yes Sang in the shower? Yes Got your tongue stuck to a pole? No Ever gone to school partially naked? No Sat on a roof top? No Played chicken? No Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Yes Broken a bone? Yes Mooned/flashed someone? Yes Forgotten someone's name? Yes Slept naked? Yes Blacked out from drinking? No Played a prank on someone? Yes Felt like killing someone? Yes Made a parent cry? No Cried over someone? Yes Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Yes Had/Have a dog? Yes Been in a band? No Drank 25 sodas in a day....aka POP? No Shot a gun? Yes

Good Morning Sunshine (not!)

Me to my husband at about 7AM.... 'Either we have fraud on our METRO 1 account, or you have some explaining to do.' I was reconciling the checkbooks this morning, and when I logged in to M1 to download my transactions, I saw 2 charges for personals sites....Match.com & AmericanSingles.com to be specific. Now....I know it wasn't me making the charges because #1 - I don't like vanilla sites & #2 - I don't like to pay for those kind of services. All my personal ad accounts are the basic/free memberships. So....that left hubby being amazingly dumb.....or fraud. Hubby was as flabbergasted as I was & said he didn't do it. So.....since I just happen to work where I do my banking, I fired off an email to our Fraud people & when I got in, they were already working on the issue. So.....it turns out that it was Rik's card that got compromised. I called Match.com, and while they hinted that it was his name on the charges, they wouldn't say it out-right. They told me to have 'the other card holder' call them. SO, Rik called Match.com and told them that we were going to dispute the charge. He then called AmericanSingles.com, and they told him that the charge originated on the 17th.....and that the person then cancelled the account a few days later and that it was set up as a 'woman seeking man' account. So....my cards are cancelled & new ones are being ordered. The charges will be reversed by METRO 1 (as soon as I give them the paperwork with all the signatures needed). So.....that was how I started my day. Honestly......the week will end better, won't it? I'm going to FLASH Friday night.....get to (at least) see The Wench.....it's gotta get better!!

Addendum

The HR Manager told me this morning....that my Former Boss-Lady had been talking to her & that she said she just didn't understand what she had done that made me so mad that I resigned. s-i-g-h She treated me pretty much like normal all day....no mention whatsoever of what happened, no apology. Not that I really expected one....but it would have been nice to hear. Just like I'll never hear her acknowledge much in the way of positive things about me, or hear her acknowledge that she is in way over her head with her work & needs help.

On Being Indispensable

I resigned yesterday. Letter & all. I gave a month notice (so I could train someone) and set my last day as April 21. The CEO had a late running meeting, so didn't come in until after 3PM. The 5 people I had gone to for venting & advice beforehand (3 managers, a VP & the Auditor) all kinda flipped out. The HR Manager (who I first gave the letter to) spent almost 2 hours talking to me (calming me down mostly & going over the 3 year history of crap between me and Former Boss-Lady). I took my last break shortly after 3 & when I came back, the CEO (my current Boss Lady) was in. I grabbed the letter of resignation off of HR Manager's desk, marched in the CEO's office & told her I had something for her to read. She read it....looked at me like I had grew a 2nd head....and asked me why. I told her that I had another blow-out with Former Boss-Lady & that I just couldn't take it anymore (this time Former Boss-Lady had made an error on something & when I went to double check on whether it was an error, or an actual procedure change....she got pissed at me & tried to make out like I was the one who made the error in the first place....even though I had an email to prove that the faulty documents I was working with came from her). I told the CEO that I had been putting up with being belittled & treated like I was incompetent for 3 years....and that I wasn't going to do it anymore. CEO said that Former Boss-Lady is on the way out....and I said that I was sick of hearing that, that I had held on the last 18 months just because of that particular promise....that she was going to retire. CEO said that Former Boss-Lady is supposed to be on a 'special project' basis as of the end of March (I'm not necessarily going to hold my breath).....and that from now on, to just not even talk to her. Anytime the Former Boss-Lady tries to talk to me about or get me to do anything Human Resources related...that I should tell her that she needs to take her issues to the HR Manager.....and if Former Boss-Lady tries to talk to me about or get me to do anything else....send her to the CEO. CEO said that I will be working with HR Manager on anything HR related, but that I should only have to and be answering to her, and occasionally the Exec. VP. So.....after talking to her for over 1/2 hour, I told her that I would rescind my resignation for now.....and watched her gleefully feed it to the shredder. After I left, the CEO cornered the HR Manager for a bit (HR Manager will pass on that conversation to me today), and when I left for the day, Former Boss-Lady was in her office. On my way out, I told the other people I had talked to during the day that I had rescinded my resignation, for now.....they were all quite relieved & happy. So....that's my day in a nutshell. How was yours?

Need Salsa?

Hot Tamale You have an intellectual sexiness factor of 78!

You're hot! You've read a lot. You've done a lot, and there's a lot you'd like to try in the future. You've got a sharp, sexy mind, and few inhibitions to restrain you from exploring all the pleasure you can get. You have few hang-ups, and there's not much you don't know about sex. You're open-minded and able to enjoy things that would make a lesser person squeamish. You're an exceptional treat as a lover, appreciated greatly by those who know the differnce. You were probably bored with a few of the people you've been with in your past, feeling like you had to drag them along with you in the sexual adventures you want to have, and probably dumping them for the same reason. It takes a lot to stimulate you; you realize it's not just about bumping uglies. In the end there's gotta be a lot more to it. Still, there is always room for improvement. Before you can graduate into a true sexual genius, there are a few things you've got to learn, to explore, to think through, talk through, and fuck through. A good place to start is in taking a look at the few things you're still a little hesitant to try. Break down you're last few barriers and discover the outer sexual frontiers, and you'll become a master.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 66% on sexiness

Link: The Intellectual Sexiness Test written by dr_eros on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

For The Wench

Yesterday I spent around 8 glorious hours enjoying some of the best sexual experiences that I have ever had. Definitely the best I've had with a woman & within a metaphorical hairs breadth of the best I've had in my life. (Sorry, husband still holds that title. Today....the bits are sore....and my hip joints & thigh muscles are not happy with me. Methinks if I plan on making these marathon sessions an on-going thing.....I need to work on my flexibility (as well as dropping that last 40 lbs). :)

Odd thought for the day

Well, yesterday actually. I'm microwaving lunch and this is what pops into my head.... Do vegans give and/or receive oral sex? Yes, that was a rhetorical & facetious question. I was just letting my mind wander (to sex, go figure) and I was thinking about one of the euphemisms of oral sex was 'eating someone out.' Since vegans don't eat meat of any type....would oral sex count? No rhyme or reason behind it, just the random weirdness that is Valia.

Apparently I need to work on this

Dilettante You scored 45% Experience, 60% Adventurousness, 62% Kinkyness, and 45% Corrupt!

You have definitly found your way to pleasure. You know what you like and continue to do it. Do not hesitate to continue to push your limits. Do not get stuck only doing what is comfortable. Sometimes we learn the most about ourselves when we push ourselves harder and further on the journey to self discovery. Please remember to rank my test. Thank You

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 75% on Experience You scored higher than 50% on Adventurousness You scored higher than 50% on Kinkyness You scored higher than 75% on Corruption

Link: The Sexual Experimentation Test written by LadyLilithDreams on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Split Personality

Which is the real me? or

So Like.....

Wow....lame, but it's the best thing I can say about my scene last night. I'm so not one to 'kiss & tell'.....but I just can't keep this to myself. Grab The Wench, shove her across the room and not so gently up against a cross. Rip or cut off most of her clothes. (I do like stuff like that once in a while.) Knives, thuddy floggers, slappy things......moans, Oh Gods, quivery lower lip, smiles..... Toss everything back in the bag, untie her.....follow The Wench downstairs. Wrestle a little (I think she let me win)....laugh about the fact that I'm having troubles getting on the ill-fitting gloves. Stroking, sinking myself into her.....guidance, Oh god, more, sigh, smile......too intense. Wrestle a little more.....The Wench seems to have an appetite for my thin satin pants.....otherwise known as how to torture me with oral sex that is millimeters & worlds away from touching me. I have a major limit that I bent the hell out of last night. In honour & respect of my husbands' wishes, I don't have sex in mixed gender scenarios. If he can't watch, it's hardly fair to let some random guys I probably don't even know watch. So.....The Wench grabbed a blanket & we stuck the the letter of my limit. Soft moans, minor convulsions......grasping sheets.....ok that was nice. Moments later.....more, there, oh yes....thrashing, clawing, crying, laughing.....mind shattering orgasm(s). Softly holding each other, laughing.....damn it's 1AM and I have to leave and The Wench has to help clean up the dungeon. We kiss, we part, we promise more later.

How do you love me?

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Physical Touch and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		9
Quality Time:		9
Words of Affirmation:		6
Receiving Gifts:		4
Acts of Service:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

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