Content, it's REALLY Content

February 2005, I had the opportunity to read a book by Jenny Ditzler called The Best Year Yet. This link will take you to the post that I made as a result of what I got out of that book. http://valiaderekin.livejournal.com/75771.html In August 2005, my company implemented the Best Year Yet program for all employees. Below is all of the ‘inner ramblings’ I went through to solidify my Plan. The questions were to focus on what happened for you during the 12 months before August 2005. 1. What did I accomplish? Bought a new house 8/12/04. We're currently 3/4 unpacked. Lost 25 pounds since February 2005. Attended a seminar on managing my emotions in March. Branched out socially. Took on a few more responsibilities at work. Celebrated 11th wedding anniversary 6/26/05. Celebrated 10th anniversary late, with a Mexican cruise (November 2004). 2. What were my biggest disappointments? Haven't found a woman that I want to share some of my life with. I haven't been able to change or advance my career path in the ways that I had hoped to. I'm still pretty bad with my personal financial management. I'm still too focused on how other people see me & whether or not they like me. I'm still no closer to going back to school for my 2nd BA, than I was 5 years ago when I 1st found out about the Human Sexuality program at SF State. I've got a rather large collection of books on psychology, human sexuality & the occult....things I've collected for over 10 year, but haven't read much of. Car accident in December that I was at fault for. 3. What did I learn? I have to work at having willpower. I have to work at not letting my emotions take control of my reactions. I have to learn to believe more that what I think of myself is more important that what others do. I have to stand up and ask for the things that I want. Guideline 1 - Be strong (willpower) Guideline 2 - You run your emotions, they don't run you Guideline 3 - Be true to myself 4. How do I limit myself and how can I stop? How do I limit myself? I don't stand up for myself. I'm afraid to try & fail (especially with regards to dating & relationships). I spend more money than I truly need to. I lack self-control in certain areas of my life. I'm afraid to be who I really think that I am. What do I say about myself to explain my limitations? If I let more of my true self show, I may lose my job & cause problems in my marriage. I think if I'm a pushover, that people will like me more. Limiting Paradigm - If I be my true self, I won't be accepted. New Paradigm - The real me will shine through. 5. What are my personal values? Honesty Originality Trust Independence Freedom Friendship Educate Emotional Health Integrity Love Person Growth Strengthen 6. What roles do I play in my life? Role 1: Wife Role 2: Employee Role 3: Self Role 4: Daughter Role 5: Friend 7. What is my major focus for next year? To try to be more of who I say I am. To reflect the roles that I identify with. Major Focus - Self 8. What are my goals for each role? Role 2: Employee Goal Learn more about the recruiting & interviewing process. Learn to think before reacting. Learn to reach for the things that I want. Learn to stop taking things personally. Role 3: Self Goal Lose a total of 75 pounds. Pursue my education. Learn to control myself in certain areas. Become more physically fit. Be real. Role 5: Friend Goal Learn to be honest with people, with regards to what I really think & feel. Learn to remove the negative things & people from my life. Learn to say no more often when people just want to use me & give nothing back in return. 9. What are my top ten goals for next year? Goal 1: Follow through on my interests. Goal 2: Lose weight & become more fit. Goal 3: Stop being a doormat. Goal 4: Learn how to say what I think. Goal 5: Learn to control my temper. Goal 6: Encourage the positive, lose the negative. Goal 7: Be who I say I am. Goal 8: Reach higher. Goal 9: Sing more. Goal 10: 10. How can I make sure I achieve them? Read 2 books that are in line with my educational pursuits at least once a month. Work out at least 3 times a week. At work - think about what I say before I say it. Speak up when I'm feeling stepped on. Ask for the things that matter. And THIS is the actual plan. TOP TEN GOALS 1. Follow through on interests. 2. Lose weight & become more fit. 3. Stop being a doormat. 4. Learn how to say what I think. 5. Learn to control my temper. 6. Encourage the positive, lose the negative. 7. Be who you say you are. 8. Reach higher. 9. Sing more often GUIDELINES Be Strong (willpower) Run your emotions, they don't run you. Be true to Myself. NEW PARADIGM or VISION The real me will shine through. MAJOR FOCUS Self Every month (or week if we want), we list mini-goals that will help us along the way to accomplishing our major goals, and last month we were asked to come up with one additional goal…something we intended, yet unexpected, to have happen to us during the month of March. Well, most people went for the obvious ‘I’d like ‘unexpected’ money to show up….random checks in the mail, finding money on the ground, winning a few bucks on a Scratcher or at the slots.’ A few people wanted unexpected appreciation from their boss. At first, I was thinking that I wanted to receive more sincere compliments….but that was striking me as too self-centered….so I opted for the whimsical….I wanted to see more purple flowers in my life. The next day at our Joint Staff Meeting, 1 of my co-workers gave me a purple peony that she picked on the way in. Judging by my commute though, I should have picked yellow flowers. :) Anyways, this month we were supposed to chose another intention to realize during the month of April…and I was wracking my brains to come with something a little more substantial than flowers, but still not the typical ‘unexpected money’ one that most others were hanging on to. So, I got to thinking about myself and my relationships with others….specifically in the level of trust & confidence that people place in me. During the last few weeks, I have been honored to be able to read the locked posts from 2 people who were discussing deeply painful and personal things that have occurred in their lives (current or past). I was surprised….I mean, while I like these people, and I know they like me….I had no idea that they thought well enough of me to include me in something so personal. Follow that up with another revelation today…a co-worker wanted to re-arrange her direct deposit & send some money to other accounts. She told me to call her so that she could explain everything. I did, and I told her that it was no problem…and all of the sudden she tells me that she is keeping a tighter rein on her money, because she might be getting divorced. I was floored, not by what she said….but that she chose me to say it to. She said she hadn’t told anyone else at work… So, that leads me to my intention….my intention is to receive things from people...things that show that they were thinking and how they were thinking of me. I'm not talking about gifts or necessarily tangible items. You're listening to the radio and a song came on that reminded you of me, or of something we had shared together...and you tell me about it. You're reading something & something brings me to mind.... and you tell me about it. You see something while out shopping.... whatever it is that brought me to your mind. What was it, and what did you end up thinking about me, or about us? Often, especially lately, I walk through my life, wondering what I mean to people...how do I fit into their world.... am I of any real importance to them...do I make some sort of positive difference to them? It’s the things that I discussed above that let me see that maybe I am important to people, and just don’t know it…. I suppose, one way or another, this intention will show me. And to end the post….during our group meetings, we all had to draw out cards. Mine was - Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Eileen Caddy