Thursday, December 30, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Say something why dontcha?
copied from venusrising
Let's start with a clean slate for 2005.
Do you have any unspoken grievances against me?
Even trivial ones?
Anything you wanted to confess?
Anything at all you wanted to tell me but haven't for whatever reason?
If so, comment here and let it be known.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Living Dead Dolls
I've been collecting Living Dead Dolls-Fashion Victims. Hubby got me ALL of Series 2, plus Lilith from Series 1 (just missing Kitty now) for Xmas (on EBAY as a set). However, prior to this I had bought 1 of the dolls from Series 2....so
I now have 2 of this doll. http://www.towerrecords.com/product.aspx?pfid=3119463
Her 2nd outfit is a gold lame halter, tutu, sheer stockings and rollerskates. She is still in the box, never opened.
Is anyone interested in trading me something for her?
Sunday, December 19, 2004
the A to Z of Friendship
I found this on mwwlw.com
A friend -
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
Married Women Who Love Women
I found this site, http://www.mwwlw.net/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi via a conversation on tribe.net.
From what I can tell, it seems to be more of a support group than a 'hook-up' thing, but I only spent 1/2 hour reading, so I might not have gotten the full flavor of the site.
Anyways.....I posted a rather lengthy intro there...and decided it would make a good LJ post too.
This site was the topic of conversation on a group I'm in on tribe.net, so I figured I'd give it a look-see & see if I might fit in somewhere.
I've been married for about 10.5 years....happily for the most part. We have our ups & downs, as all relationships do.
I've been actively involved with women since I was 18, but having intense emotional feelings for them since I was 7 (I'm 34.5 now).
I grew up not being exposed to a lot of things involving human sexuality....so it wasn't until I was a teenager that I fully even understood what gay, lesbian & bisexual meant....let alone that I was in the group somewhere.
I met my husband when I was 21, while in college. From the get-go, he thought I was gay....as when we first met, I was chasing around a girl I had a severe crush on. It wasn't until a few month later, when I was breaking up with my boyfriend, that my husband figured out I was at least somewhat interested in guys.....but it was about 2 years after that before he could catch me single....
During that 2 years, we were in several classes together & spent time getting to know each other....and he got to find out all my 'oddities.' Besides being bi, I was/am also polyamourous, pagan & into BDSM.
He proposed to me about a month after we started dating. We talked a very long time about my life & the things that would or would not be different if we got married. I let him know in very clear terms that I was not willing to give up my love for women, or my being into alternative worship & sexual practices....but that I would be willing to compromise with certain things.
My compromises are fairly simple & not at all difficult for me. #1 is that no other person gets more than 1/2 of my free time....my husband is #1 in my life as far as relationships go. #2 is that I do not get emotionally or sexually involved with males.
#1 just makes sense to me, and #2 is no real hardship, since by that time my interest in males had begun to wane anyways. I always tell people that I am heterosexually monogamous.
During the last 10.5 years, I've had relationships with 5 women. In addition, I have had a deep emotional connection (but physically platonic) with a woman who has been submissive to me for the last 8.5 years.
Due to some bad experiences I've had with a few males over the last 15 years....my general interest in the species as a whole has been nearly nil. I have a few male friends that I talk to & flirt with....but by & large I just don't trust guys & generally try to put up a good enough front that most just don't even approach me.
About 5 years ago, things got real bad for me, due to some harassment I was a target of...and for about 6 months I was debating whether or not I should even be married.....but I decided to try therapy first instead of heading to a divorce attorney. I just had a generalized hatred of males....and I was taking it out on my husband....who had never done anything to deserve my bad treatment of him. He has always been my rock....my solace & my coming home. I can't imagine my life without him.
I sometimes think that our marriage is wrong for him....that he'd be better off with a woman who was at least somewhat more normal than I am....but he's always maintained that this is where he wants to be.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt though....that if for some reason we do decide to part ways....he will be the last male I will ever be emotional or physically involved with.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Embarrassed? Annoyed? I'm not sure....
Something that's been running around my head since Saturday night.
Everyone knows I seem to have a certain fascination with the female breasts. (no really?) Somehow though, it seems to be what I am now known for more than anything else. My last 10 years in the Community seem to add up to nothing. I like to think there's a bit more substance to me than that....but I guess I just don't manage to come across that deep after all.
Anyways....at a party, 2 partially clothed ladies were standing next to me. 1 I consider a friend, 1 I don't even know. A comment was (loudly) made to the unknown woman, something to the effect of 'Valia likes boobs a lot!' The girl kind of looked worried, but also kind of expectant. I on the other hand was somewhat embarrassed.
About 5 minutes later, another woman I know, let me know that anytime I wanted to fondle her boobs....I was more than welcome to.
I guess I've just never really explained this to many people....
While most breasts are indeed great things to look at.....I am not fascinated by, nor do I want to fondle all the breasts that come into my range. Surprisingly enough....I am rather picky about who I pay attention to.
I'll look admiringly, at almost anyone that I do not already know. But it's the knowing that makes the difference. Actually, to be more accurate....it's the caring.
Someone I know could have a lovely pair of breasts.....but if I do not even like that person....I barely take notice of them....let alone want to fondle or otherwise get close to them. The lady mentioned above, with her offer for fondling at anytime....you couldn't pay me enough to want to fondle & flirt with her.....while I can be nice to her, to be honest, I don't really like her, she started off on a bad foot with me several years ago....and it hasn't gotten much better since.
People also accuse me of being a size queen....since some of the women who I am lucky enough to fondle....have been graced with an abundance of cleavage. However, what people do not seem to notice, is that more of the women I like and am lucky enough to fondle are a nice,lovely handful.....
Honestly, size to me, is irrelevant....it's all about the person that the breasts happen to be attached to. My caring for, respecting & admiring someone play more of a role in my interest in them than the size of their breasts do.
Another thing....it's not necessarily about sex either. Sure, I like to fondle, lick, kiss breasts as much as the next person....but a lot of times, it's a comfort thing for me. It's nice to just rest my head on someone's chest and listen to their heart. It's nice to just have my hand laying on a breast, having that slightly more intimate contact with someone. It's just nice to be with a woman that I like.
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