From Tribe topic to LJ Post

The question posted on Tribe was Is it OK for women to engage in casual sex? and it referenced this article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22808552/ Below was my reply. I think another thing to consider is some of the mental processes a person may have going on too. Years ago, I used sex as a way of seeking validation...to me at that time, it meant that people found me attractive & worthwhile. For me at that time, sex = love. It took me a while to figure out that those things weren't actually true...people didn't want me for me & they didn't really care about me...they just wanted me because I would 'put out.' For a long time after that, I rarely got physically involved with someone unless there was a deep bond of trust & affection...which for the most part came few & far between. Now, I tend to look at things differently. I know that I'm a worthwhile person without having to look for outside validation (but having it is always nice), and I know that while sex & love together are an amazing thing....1 or the other alone is pretty damn nice too. Anyways, I guess the point I'm trying to make...is that if your having casual sex just because it's a fun thing & it make you feel good...then great. However, if you are using it to search for some sort of validation of your worthiness, and/or attractiveness...I think there are better ways of getting that.