Um, yeah...

www.tarot.com Love Horoscope For the Week of Sep 29th, 2008 -- You could be in for an exciting ride this weekend as the Moon moves through your 5th House of Romance. Being bold is perfect since you are ready to stand up and be noticed. Don't be coy or worry about being subtle. This is a great time to open up your heart and show your stuff loudly and proudly.

Courtney, Dan, Etal

I think there's more pictures of me (and me w/ others) from the shoot...who do I have to sweet-talk to get them?

Oh Look - Pictures!

From a shoot on 9/21/08

Folsome Weekend Plans

I am not doing anything kink &/or Folsom related except the Fair itself. I've been running myself ragged for about a month & I need some down time before I get sick. So, Sunday, Vicki & I are BARTing in to SF & should get there by 10:30. We're grabbing breakfast at BK, and heading in after that. We're planning on going to India Garden (on Folsom between 7th & 8th) for lunch at 1:00. If you want to hook up, feel free to call. I probably won't hear the phone, but I will check it periodically for messages. 707-567-9510

Grab Hammer, Impact Cranium

Repeat as necessary to get the point. From November 07 If all you have to bring to the table is drama, games, jealousies & inappropriate demands... I'm not interested. I'm just happy being and accepting the good things that life puts in my path. If you are looking to come into my life, come in with something positive and happy. If your presence ends up putting a pall on my clear skies & making me feel apprehensive... Then either the negative aspects need to go, or you need to go. I'm done with drama. Just done. A Horoscope in February 08 It is time for you to refill the well of your soul, dear Leo. So much of your life is spent in service to others, it is only natural that you will feel drained from time to time. Rather than try to push past this feeling and go on as though nothing were the matter, you should instead consider it a sign that something is amiss in your life. If you are feeling unappreciated, admit it. You have spent too much of your life putting others' happiness before your own. It is time to change your priorities. June 2008 Try to avoid getting entangled with someone who has more baggage than I do...and who is more high maintenance than I am. I fully admit that being with me isn't easy...and I think I'd be OK with someone who has a similar amount of issues as I do...but I don't have the wherewithal to give a lot of support to someone with more issues than I have. I have to remember that in the long run, no matter how much I may care about someone...I need to care about myself more. Giving too much of myself isn't going to help either of us in the long run. In the past, I would sometimes slip into a state where I give & give...and it just seems to be expected that I keep on giving, no matter what,...and if I pipe up & let it be known that I'm running low & could stand to have some giving tossed my way...the other person seems to be less than thrilled. That just plain needs to be avoided...but as I well know, things like that are things I still need to work on. Another Horoscope June 08 Being generous doesn't mean letting people walk all over you. Learn to stand up for yourself and make more of an effort to be around those who appreciate you -- as is.

Only Names

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. N/A 12. 13. 14. 15. N/A 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. N/A 24. 25. 26. Plead the 5th 27. 28. N/A 29. Plead the 5th 30. No requirements, if you want the questions, I'll post your's.

In case you weren't paying attention

On 11/4/07, I posted my goals for my Best Year Yet Pt. 3. Goal # 6 was - Keep trying to speak my mind, even if it's going to hurt. On 11/11, I had my first good occasion to put Goal 6 to the test, and informed someone of just how amazingly irritating that I found them. In February, I had a really good opportunity to set a few people straight all in a 24 hour period with regards to some things they were doing to/with/around me that I didn't like. I still feel close to what I did when I made this post in March. http://valiaderekin.livejournal.com/216422.html But lately, sometimes, I don't really care about trying to be nice about it. I suppose it depends on my mood. If I'm tired/cranky already...I'm not really in the mood as it is to be all nicey-nice. When someone does something that gets under my skin...I've let them have it with both barrels. And you know what...I kind of like it. I kind of like the fact that I'm just saying 'fuck it' and letting my unvarnished thoughts/feelings out. Sometimes, I'm just sick & tired of always been the nice one. And in the general idea of speaking my mind, I did make this post http://valiaderekin.livejournal.com/235101.html No I haven't directed it AT anyone, but some of the women who can read it, are the women I've had (still have) crushes on, so I think it was brave of me to even have it in here at all. I think, (maybe) for a while though, when it comes to things in life that hurt me, irritate me, or make me just feel/think things in a negative way....I think, I might just continue the not so nice route. While I'm not really fond of being The Bitch...it does seem to get the point across so much better than trying to tip-toe around and spare people's feelings. I don't know, this still bears thinking upon. I know there's a solution between nicey-nice & Uber Bitch, and sooner or later, I'll find where that spot is for me. For now...(shrug) you get what you get...honesty. Maybe not pretty, maybe not nice, maybe not what you were expecting given your past interactions with me...but at least it's real I'm not the same person I was a year or 2 ago, and I think that's a good thing. I think the long & the short of it is, if you were able to get me to roll over, to get me to do what you wanted, or you just knew that I'd put up with crap again & again...don't take that as a given anymore.

I really

Don't like going to things (munches, parties, classes, ect) alone. But, there are times when I really want to do something, and my options are to go it alone or to just not go. I went to Exiles tonight for the first time in several years (I'm trying to remember if I've gone at all since I moved to Hayward in 2004). I went because I thought the class would be interesting (it was an off-the-wall topic) and it was. I also went because I enjoy seeing the 2 people who were teaching. I suppose I could have asked Vicki to go with me...but I know if given the choice, she would much prefer going to a play party. I did have tentative plans to meet a friend there, but those fell through. So, I went alone...and read my book before class & during the break. Sometimes I wonder if that's why not many people have talked to me at Exiles, because I have my nose in a book (thereby making it seem like I'm unapproachable I guess). But for me...it's kind of a lifesaver. I can't just sit there like a bump on a log...and I can't just randomly go around the room & cruise people (or just plain talk to strangers for that matter). I do make a point of looking up every page or so, scanning the room & smiling at anyone who happens to be looking my way...but that's about all I do. During the break, Lady Hilary asked me why I wasn't working the room...I told her that I was too shy to. That's what it pretty much boils down to. If someone approaches me and starts a conversation, I'm all for doing my part. I just can't (hardly ever) take the initiative and walk up to someone, introduce myself & start a conversation. Part of me thinks I'm being an imposition, part of me is afraid of rejection, and part of me just doesn't want to be seen as someone who hits on every interesting girl that comes on my radar screen. I actually had 2 women introduce themselves to me tonight. 1 to ask if she could borrow a pen, and another who heard me talking to Lady Hilary about the fact that I didn't know anyone in the room besides her and The Marine. Neither of the women did anything but say 'hi', but it kinda put me out of my element, (not that I really know what my element is when I'm alone besides uncomfortable) because I was surprised that people were talking to me. Thinking back, in the 10 years that I've been a member of Exiles...I can probably count on 1 hand the number of times a random woman in the classes has introduced herself to me and started a conversation. Anyways...The Countess was asking me for suggestions about classes that would get people like me (who haven't attended in a while) to come back. I thought about it on the way home. Socializing & cruising for the Shy.

Teach? Me?

Would you go to a class if I was teaching? What do you think you could learn from me? Somehow, some people have come to the conclusion that I would be a good teacher & that I should start volunteering for classes. I'm not sure how they came to this conclusion. While I've been into BDSM since 1992, I've never really considered myself 'expert' enough in anything to justify my standing in front of a group of people & telling them how they should be doing something. But...other people seem to think I am/should. So...if I get the guts up to venture into this arena, do you have any thoughts about what I could do?

Names Please?

From Leo Weekly Love Horoscope on www.tarot.com For the Week of Sep 15th, 2008 -- Romance can flourish with a friend or with a person you meet through a pal this weekend.

Give Me Your Blood

Your result for Fantasy Seduction Quiz: What type of fantasy senario would you like to experience in bed? What type of creature would be most likely to seduce you?...

Vampire

You attracted a Vampire. You either have a hidden dark side that only comes out when inspired, or you yourself are very dark and seductive. Vampires have a tendancy to attract the innocent or dark and are attracted to these aspects themselves. With a vampire you could get a long lasting seduction or a one night fling. Either way you should expect wine, candles, romantic passion, and maybe a little nip here and there.

Take Fantasy Seduction Quiz: What type of fantasy senario would you like to experience in bed? What type of creature would be most likely to seduce you? at HelloQuizzy

Green Eyes

When we were together, my jealousy/possessiveness bothered you, but I think you liked it too, for the ego boost it gave you. Now...my lack of jealousy seems to bother you. I've changed in the last 16 months. It's a shame you haven't.

Getting my Arrrr On

Still going here on 9/13. http://www.norcalrenfaire.com/themeweekends.asp Anyone else going? For those of you that went to GGFaire, you'll remember the outfit. Well part of it anyway...might change out a skirt &/or blouse.

What Does

Someone who's pushing 40 wear to the NIN concert tomorrow night?

Pretty Please?

www.tarot.com Thursday, Sep 4th, 2008 -- A big job or a promotion may come your way now and it could bring a cash windfall along with it. Nevertheless, your work isn't done and you must be willing to continue to put in extra effort. Rest assured that nothing you do today will go to waste. Think big and then follow through with confidence and persistence.

Typo or Secret Message to Me

www.astrology.com This is cut & pasted exactly how I received it. Your intuitive side is out in force today and you might pick up signals you wish you hadn't! You'll still be able to put them to good use, though, so don't worry about tit all too much.