I really

Don't like going to things (munches, parties, classes, ect) alone. But, there are times when I really want to do something, and my options are to go it alone or to just not go. I went to Exiles tonight for the first time in several years (I'm trying to remember if I've gone at all since I moved to Hayward in 2004). I went because I thought the class would be interesting (it was an off-the-wall topic) and it was. I also went because I enjoy seeing the 2 people who were teaching. I suppose I could have asked Vicki to go with me...but I know if given the choice, she would much prefer going to a play party. I did have tentative plans to meet a friend there, but those fell through. So, I went alone...and read my book before class & during the break. Sometimes I wonder if that's why not many people have talked to me at Exiles, because I have my nose in a book (thereby making it seem like I'm unapproachable I guess). But for me...it's kind of a lifesaver. I can't just sit there like a bump on a log...and I can't just randomly go around the room & cruise people (or just plain talk to strangers for that matter). I do make a point of looking up every page or so, scanning the room & smiling at anyone who happens to be looking my way...but that's about all I do. During the break, Lady Hilary asked me why I wasn't working the room...I told her that I was too shy to. That's what it pretty much boils down to. If someone approaches me and starts a conversation, I'm all for doing my part. I just can't (hardly ever) take the initiative and walk up to someone, introduce myself & start a conversation. Part of me thinks I'm being an imposition, part of me is afraid of rejection, and part of me just doesn't want to be seen as someone who hits on every interesting girl that comes on my radar screen. I actually had 2 women introduce themselves to me tonight. 1 to ask if she could borrow a pen, and another who heard me talking to Lady Hilary about the fact that I didn't know anyone in the room besides her and The Marine. Neither of the women did anything but say 'hi', but it kinda put me out of my element, (not that I really know what my element is when I'm alone besides uncomfortable) because I was surprised that people were talking to me. Thinking back, in the 10 years that I've been a member of Exiles...I can probably count on 1 hand the number of times a random woman in the classes has introduced herself to me and started a conversation. Anyways...The Countess was asking me for suggestions about classes that would get people like me (who haven't attended in a while) to come back. I thought about it on the way home. Socializing & cruising for the Shy.